What do you care about? What really matters in life? Is there a need to get so wrapped up over the little things that you lose sight of what’s really important? Of course not.
I care about my writing, my music, my sobriety, and the people I love. That’s it. Why bother getting so pissy about the little things? When I say ‘little things’, I mean something that isn’t going to matter several weeks or months or even years from now.
Like, the other day I was at work (event’s stewarding) and a woman started venting out at me because she was angry about something. I’m obviously new to the job but one of my colleagues said people tend to get pissed off and take it out on the stewards. A year or even several months ago I may have started yelling back at her. But then who’s going to lose their job? Who may even end up in prison due to acting out aggressively and smashing something up or punching her in the face? I remained calm, breathing in and out and centering myself.
It’s just not worth it. People are crazy; we all have egos, and when we think we are right about something we will churn it up till we’re blue in the face. But if you don’t react to someone else’s madness, they burn out. Their anger has nowhere to go.
Recovery has taught me this a lot. So many of life’s problems – in fact, probably most – come from ego. Most of the conflicts in my life that I’ve gotten entangled in have happened because I couldn’t back down. Sometimes you just need to say ‘enough is enough’ and walk away. Will the world end if I shout back? If I try and prove that my metaphorical dick is bigger than yours? No.
We all have our views on things, and we all think we’re right. But the key to getting along with people isn’t to push your views onto them and try and get them to see the world from their perspective. It’s putting yourself in their shoes and seeing the world from their perspective, and using this to benefit them and you. Life is so much easier when we compromise, and tell people what they want to hear – not to be a doormat, but to improve relations with others.
Sometimes, the best thing to do is to not give a shit, as Mark Manson highlights well in The Subtle Art of Not Giving A F***.