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Feminism is like a religious organization. It points fingers at a vile evil (patriarchy; or in the case of Catholicism, ‘original sin’), and claims that the only way to ‘repent’ from said-evil is to turn to feminism (or Catholicism). The only people that tell women they are oppressed are feminists. Likewise, the Catholic church tells its visitors that they are all sinners and need to repent and follow their way of life so that they don’t go to hell. They present themselves as the solution from a problem that they tell its followers allegedly exist.
The ‘Female Emancipation’ Myth
Many of us growing up in the West are not properly educated on feminism. We are led to believe that it is a group responsible the accomplishment of every woman that has set foot on this earth, and that it came in three ‘waves’, of which we are now in the third/fourth, and that it has always been about furthering the interests and emancipation of women from a formidable patriarchy that seeks to keep women down and make them be second-class citizens.
This is a lie.
Feminists constantly say that there is ‘still much work to be done.’ If this is the case, what exactly have feminists been doing for the last sixty years?
Truthfully, feminism is a political lobbyist group, that works exactly like organized religions (particularly the Abrahamic ones), or Communist regimes. It uses propaganda, fearmongering, and spreads lies to lobby and rally everyone to its cause. Feminism wants everyone to be a feminist. It has never been about ‘gender equality.’ It has only ever been about a few women using loud voices to advance their goals. Their goals, being (in the fullest extreme); abolishing marriage, ‘absolving’ women of motherhood, and having a strong female presence in every single traditionally male-dominated profession.
Founding Females
Where did this come from? The feminist movement started in the 1960s. It was founded by two women; Betty Friedan and Gloria Steinem, who were in unhappy, abusive marriages. No one deserves to be in an abusive relationship, but instead of seeking help and personal growth, Friedan decided that every single American woman was ‘oppressed’ by being a devoted housewife and mother (when plenty of women are actually happy being housewives and mothers, and those who wanted careers were readily available to pursue them, as I’ll discuss later), and then wrote a book telling housewives that they were ‘unpaid slaves’ and that they could only find solace and fulfilment through work.
Not only is this arrogant and egocentric, it is also an immature way of dealing with one’s personal problems. (This has become a popular thing to do nowadays, with people wanting to point fingers at ‘society’ rather than fix issues in their own life.) When you have a problem, you should seek to find the solution for yourself, not expect the rest of the world to change for you.
The lies of feminism have led to widespread damage for women and men. It uses the media, and tactics of manipulation, to woo the impressionable and vulnerable (such as young girls). Modern British and American women are constantly cited in newspapers as being unhappy, unfulfilled and exhausted. The rise of divorce, break-up of the nuclear family, and confusion about gender roles between men and women are all part of the feminist legacy.
Unfortunately, some feminists love to ‘femsplain’ (to adapt one of their buzzwords) by telling those of us non-feminists that we have ‘slightly misunderstood what feminism is’, or that we ‘must be a feminist deep down, we’re just getting confused with radical feminism.’
I identified as a feminist in my teens, with quite naive ideas about what it was, and realised I wasn’t actually one around the age of eighteen. (I am now twenty-three at the time of writing this.) Ironically, the more research and reading I did (and continue to do) into feminism, and the more I spoke (and continue to speak) to feminists, the more I realised that I disagree with feminism and actually have little in common with feminist philosophy. I don’t (and never really did) believe that gender is ‘socially constructed’, or that we live in an ‘oppressive patriarchy’ that seeks to keep women down. I had misunderstood was feminism was, once upon a time, and now that I have a better understanding of it, I can see it for what it is. Sexist, unscientific propaganda of no benefit to men and women.
Feminine Power
Women and men have always been equals, just not the same. Women and men are biologically and chemically different. Feminine and masculine energy is different. This is nature, and throughout human history has not been viewed as a bad thing.
Feminism underestimates women, painting us as these fragile, delicate, passive beings who needed feminism to come along and rescue us from ourselves. I don’t underestimate women. I would argue that we have always been the stronger sex. Women are far craftier and more conniving than feminism gives us credit for. Men may be physically stronger than women, but we run-rings around men psychologically and sexually (for better or for worse).
Women have always possessed a deep power, it just isn’t the kind of ‘power’ that feminists think of. Feminine power is subtle, but far more potent than masculine power. Women can be masters of manipulation do to our unique emotional intelligence, able to appear sweet and unassuming in the same way that cats do. (Any cat owner knows that the cat really owns you.)
Men may rule the world, but behind the scenes, women are the ones who rule. Let’s be honest.
Note: using psychological manipulation to get what you want at the expense of others is petty and dishonest. Most women (and people in general) are kind and genuine. But it’s no secret that women are highly capable of wielding a certain type of manipulation that is often subtle and harder to spot. These traits often play out among young girls through relational aggression, which is more ‘covert’ than the direct aggression more commonly used among young boys.
If a man and a woman are on a date, and the woman shouts and throws her drink at the guy, he will sit there quietly, and still pay for the tab. If a woman slaps a man in the street, people will automatically assume that he did something to warrant being punched in the face. If a man cries, he is reprimanded by other men and sneered at by women. (I have personally heard of women describe a man crying as vastly unattractive.)
In many African pre-colonial and tribal communities, the woman is the one who holds the power. Mother Earth, Mother Nature, queenmother; the mother has always been a symbol of power and strength. Egyptian, Roman, Greek, and Hindu Mythology are rife with powerful goddesses that harnessed their feminine energy, from Aphrodite to Lakhshmi. (And they owed nothing to feminism.)
If women were so ‘oppressed’, why have so many symbols of feminine strength been personified throughout history?
You can be in favour of women’s rights and progression without needing to align it to ‘feminism.’ My books are female-oriented. They discuss feminine issues, but they are certainly NOT feminist.
Men in Crisis
Part of the reason why the feminist movement was so successful is because men often adjust and compromise for women. Women are so clever that we have convinced men that we are ‘oppressed’. Now men have decidedly bent over backwards even more to accommodate women! Men buy us things; take us out, marry us, protect us, and listen to us whine about insipid nonsense like how much weight we’ve (not) gained because a man is a natural provider and protector of women. Men are wired to be protective.Women are wired to be nurturing and emotionally intuitive. Again, this is nature, not ‘oppression.’
And what exactly is so ‘oppressive’ about wanting a man to take care of you, and wanting to take care of a man? When a girl is young, her father cares for her; when she gets older, if she decides to marry, this role transfers to her husband/partner. The same goes for boys and their mothers; ask any psychoanalyst.
Modern men are more likely to commit suicide than women; less likely to instigate divorce, and more likely to lose custody of their children. Is it any wonder that so many modern men are angry? ‘Men Go Their Own Way’ would never have existed if not for feminism. Genuine misogynists and men who spurn marriage have appeared because modern men now feel disempowered; conflicted about their social role, confused about how to treat women, and lonely and neglected.
The feminist movement today likes to say that it is ‘pro-men’ and that ‘if a man wants to cry, he should cry.’ This is a myth. Feminism does not and has not ever cared about the personal and emotional rights of men. Individual feminists may do, but the broader movement does not because ‘the future is female’.
See post: The Crisis of Masculinity
Yes, there are some men who are sexist, just as there are women who are sexist. There are plenty of traditionally male-dominated industries which women have worked hard to be a part of. But these women do not ‘complain’ about how unfair it is and expect quotas to be provided for them. We are responsible for our own choices, and if a woman wants to work in a male-dominated industry, she can go about it with the level of thick-skin that a man under the same pressure would.
Career Gals
Feminism is constantly trying to lend itself credit to any female accomplishment, including telling women that the only reason we are able to have an opinion on feminism is because of feminism itself. In reality, plenty of social and political movements have worked to empower women, but they have no affiliation with feminism.
See post: Women have always been oppressed…?
As it happens, women have been making enormous achievements since ‘the dawn of time’, and have been doing this without feminism. The ‘Goodnight Stories for Rebel Girls’ books give two-hundred examples of women throughout human history who have achieved success as scientists; inventors, musicians, lawyers, writers, athletes, dancers, engineers, and the like.
Margaret Thatcher may have been one of the worst UK Prime Ministers ever to have come, but she still got there, and famously said that she owed nothing to women’s lib. Thatcher was a strong, successful woman, who was also married with children, and never claimed to rally in favour of feminism. This is because being a woman with a successful career should be attributed to the person’s hard work, dedication, determination and grit (just the same as for a man with a successful career).
And in the modern workplace, women are more likely than men to be hired for certain jobs because of ‘equality quotas.’ Women are more likely to go to university than men. Girls are more likely to do better in school than boys. Feminists constantly make claims about how women are ‘under-represented’ in traditionally male-dominated roles, like STEM careers or in law. Statistically, women are more likely to work in lower-paying professions, like teaching, psychology, or childcare, and are more likely to spend less time at work due to having children.
See post: Women in STEM Subjects
Why is it bad to want to spend time with your children? Having children is a wonderful, fulfilling thing, and if a woman wants to be a housewife and mother, why is this a bad thing? Simone de Beauviour famously said that women should not be allowed to choose, because then they will choose to be mothers. Another example of how feminism is anti-motherhood and marriage. The majority (not all) women are biologically wired to want to have children and have a good man raise children with them. Please tell me why this is bad when it is literally the reason why the human race has prevailed?
Note: of course I am not suggesting that every single woman has to be married and have children. Plenty of people opt out of having kids, or are happy having kids in a stable partnership without being married. I am just merely stating a fact that many women want to be married someday or in a fulfilling romantic relationship (women are the primary consumers of romance novels). Ironically, the desire for men to be married has actually declined over the last few decades (no surprise there).
Women can pursue whatever careers that they want. They always have been able to. No ‘patriarchy’ has ever told women that they can’t do what they want. Women who have struggled in male-dominated professions overcame those milestones through grit and determination. They didn’t sit and complain about how oppressed they were.
But for the women that DON’T want to be lawyers or financial advisors or engineers; why can’t we be left alone? If a company has ten women and fifty men, all of whom are happy working there and have chosen to be there, what does it matter if there are more men than women? Do you really think that the women there are going to whine and whinge and complain about how ‘oppressed’ they are or about how underrepresented? I doubt it. I’m sure most of them crack on and get on with it, because that’s what men have always been expected to do.
Why does feminism want to force women into doing things that they don’t want to do?
Does it matter ‘how many’ women pursue careers in finance and science? All that matters is that the ones who want to, do it. Why do the numbers need to be ‘equal’?
Truly strong, independent women don’t need to be feminists. Feminism produces weak women who believe that they are oppressed. All of the women who have thrived historically did so by gritting their teeth and getting on with it. They did not believe that having a vagina warranted special treatment.
Credit Wrongfully Given to Feminism
The Suffragettes and ‘First Wave’ Feminism. The Suffragettes were a group of women who campaigned for women’s voting rights. They were not feminists, in name or action. Likewise, Mary Wollstoncraft was writing about women’s rights, but the word ‘feminism’ was not mentioned, and has only later been attributed to her by contemporary academic feminists.
Abortion. Roe vs Wade was passed in favour of legalising abortion by a Supreme Court full of men, the majority of whom were Republicans (a party associated with being anti-feminist). It was passed on the grounds of privacy and a woman’s right to choose (which ties in with Western democratic values of individual liberty and free choice against state intervention).
See post: Abortion doesn’t care about your feelings
The abortion question is a case of reason and individual liberty vs religious zealotry. It has nothing to do with feminism. The main reason why abortion should be kept legal is because making it illegal would just create more problems for the mother and child, not less, and also have a harmful effect on society with a rise in single mothers and neglected unwanted babies. Feminism does not fit into this reasoning, and yet it has adopted abortion as part of the feminist case for ‘child-rearing being oppressive’ and motherhood being ‘unfair’, rather than fulfilling and rewarding. Abortion should only ever be used as a last resort where contraception has been unsuccessful.
The Pill. Much like abortion, feminism loves to take credit for female contraception, as coincidentally, the pill happened to be invented during the 1960s when the feminist movement had just kicked off. Once again, this was a case between the scientific rational community who understand the benefits of a woman being able to control her fertility, and the religious zealots who are so blinded by dogmatic illusion that they don’t see how readily accessible birth control will help prevent abortion. Women should be thanking the scientists, (many of whom were men), who made abortion and contraception available, not the feminists who love to ascribe it to their cause.
Equal Pay. The Equal Pay Act in the USA was passed by President JFK in 1963. During the second world war, many women entered the labour force, and the law was passed to ensure that there was no gender-based discrimination based on pay. A woman named Esther Peterson was involved in drafting out this bill. The feminist movement had no impact on the passing of this act; it was about practicality, and again, individual liberty, and it was a man who made this legal.
You can be pro-spirituality but not religion, just as you can be pro-women but not feminism.
Conclusion
I think that we all need to educate ourselves on what something actually is, so that we can make our own judgements. I think that we should read books that we agree with and that challenge us, so that we can make an informed decision.
In my experience, the majority of feminists I meet don’t accept or listen to women who are anti-feminism or who don’t support feminism. While I am perfectly happy to listen to the other side, I don’t feel that it is reciprocated, and I find it rare to meet a feminist who can say ‘you’re not a feminist? Well, that’s absolutely fine. I don’t agree with you, but fair enough, it’s your position, I’d like to know why you hold that position.’
I think that if more feminists were able to do this, the stereotype of the ‘crazy angry feminist’ would be lifted, and people would actually be able to listen to each other and find common ground, rather than slandering each other. When I met Louise O’Neill, one of my favourite authors (who is a proudly outspoken feminist), I asserted that I am not a feminist, and she didn’t scold me or order me to leave the room. She simply explained why feminism is important to her, and later kindly signed all my books. It is possible to hold a stance, disagree with someone else about the stance, and still be able to peacefully coexist. It just takes a degree of maturity, ability to find common ground, and realization that we are not defined by our opinions, but by our actions and treatment of others.
Wow this is such a great article and it takes a lot of courage to voice these views publicly so I applaud you. So many points are spot on and really resignated with me personally having had experienced some of these things. Mostly that I can’t have a healthy and respectful discussion with feminists as it results in being negatively labelled and personally attacked. It would be great if feminists become more open to discussion and hopefully this is a step in the right direction. 👏 Please continue posting more! ❤️
Thank you so much for your comment, and I am very glad you liked the article and could relate to it. I think it is important to keep the general discourse of information around social issues and feminism as varied as possible.
As a forty year old mother of 2 girls, you have a lot to learn. It will be interesting to hear your perspective in 20 years. Even reading your article briefly I can count a number of inconsistencies in your piece.
Hello, thank you for your comment. What inconsistencies did you notice?