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Surf the online world. We’re currently living in an ‘age of narcissism.’ The internet is saturated with pictures of ourselves, little messages of our daily thoughts, beliefs that we’re the ‘most important’ person in the world and that there’s a need to document every moment of our lives. (Good satirical novel to read on this topic: The Circle. Haven’t seen the film but the book’s fantastic).
Narcissism is about gratifying one’s ego. Those with narcissistic personality disorder tend to be manipulative, cold, selfish people, that don’t care much about others. Narcissism is not to be confused with self-love, which is loving and caring about yourself and valuing your attributes. Our culture sees putting yourself down and wanting to improve yourself as the ideal, but recently things are changing.
Whilst I can be very self-centered, and at times think more with my ego than my diplomacy, describing myself as a narcissist is an exaggeration. Granted, I can be a pretty vain person; I struggle to pass a window or car mirror without checking my reflection. I (mostly) love the way I look, and generally women who take pride in how they look are portrayed as ‘stuck-up’ in the media. As I mentioned, our culture values those that put themselves down, not those that take pride in their appearance, brains, talents or other personal accomplishments. Being proud of yourself is not the same as constantly bragging about yourself to the point where no one wants to be around you.
Narcissism involves a lack of empathy, and a constant need for attention and admiration, as well as an exaggerated sense of self-importance. I admit that sometimes (in my head) I think I’m better than other people. Smarter or funnier or better looking or more talented. (And at other times I think I’m the shit on someone’s shoe). But the thing that doesn’t make me a narcissist is that I’m able to recognise these as passing thoughts, and I don’t REALLY think I’m the centre of the universe. Most importantly, I’m highly empathetic. Empathetic, sensitive people cannot be narcissists, as narcissists view themselves as more important than others and struggle to form healthy relationships with others.
